This week is focusing on the service user’s experience. Hannah is a University of Portsmouth graduate and is employed as an administrator at the University of Portsmouth’s Student’s Union. She is also a Time to Change Ambassador. Hannah first began to experience mental health issues during her teenage years. In this blog post Hannah describes her experience as a young person in education experiencing mental ill-health.
My name is Hannah, I’m 26 years old and I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was about 14 years old. My depression can result in me not wanting to face the real world, not having the energy to get out of bed or get dressed, feeling worthless, not wanting to see people, feeling inconsolable and so low I just start crying at the slightest thing or so numb I feel nothing – I can never decide which is worse, and that’s just to name a few symptoms. My anxiety can be equally debilitating. Self-doubt and criticisms going round and round in my head making me physically freeze or panic. It can turn me into a quiet, nervous, frantic individual and even make me physically ill. I can naturally be an over thinker and when anxiety takes over this means I constantly second guess myself when I pride myself on the fact that when I make a decision, I MAKE a decision!
Depression and anxiety are not always exclusive. Yes they can affect me at the same time and one can lead to another but this isn’t always the case. They come and go, they can be stronger at times than others, I am not in a constant state of depression and/or anxiety. I can go for months at a time not feeling depressed or anxious, or not such that it affects my life or having any major symptoms. I have had times where I’ve had a long stretch of nothing big and then one or both kick in and I have to deal with it, to have friends say ‘oh but you were doing so well’. It can just hit like a tidal wave. In retrospect there are generally things that have triggered this but they aren’t always obvious at the time or controllable. Other times they just slowly creep up on me until it becomes overwhelming. Usually my mind has been pre-occupied and self-care has taken a back seat but it can still surprise me
All of this is a brief snap shot into what can happen when I experience depression and anxiety, however that being said this doesn’t mean that I want or need sympathy and I don’t expect you to understand, I just need acceptance. This is something I have that I have to be aware of and deal with from time to time, like someone with diabetes watching their diet and taking injections or an asthmatic with breathing exercises or an inhaler. It doesn’t define me, it is just a small part of me.
I’ve also managed to turn my experiences on their head and thrive from them! Over the last year or so I’ve discovered a passion for mental health advocacy, volunteering, campaigning and supporting others. Through this I have been able to take my negative experiences and turn them into something positive. Now it’s not all hunky dory, I do have my bad days where my depression and anxiety make it hard to get through the day. However my workplace are extremely supportive and they have helped me put a Wellness Action Plan together, to help when I’m struggling. I also thrive by doing the following:
- Doing activities I enjoy like dancing, reading, listening to music, being creative, spending time with friends, visiting new places and discovering new things
- Focussing on the positives, I’ve recently started a GLAD (Grateful, Learned, Achieved, Delighted) diary which I write in ever day
- Practicing mindfulness
- Look after myself – good diet, exercise etc.
- Writing my blog
Instead of letting my mental health be a negative thing, I’m doing everything I can to change my experiences into a positive thing, learn from them and hopefully in the process help and inspire others. Having said all this though, as a friend of mine recently said, sometimes when living with a mental illness surviving is thriving
*You can follow Hannah on Twitter here.* Links are NOT affiliates.*
To cite this post: MICE Hub and Morton, H. 9th August 2017, A Service User’s Experience of Mental Ill-Health in Childhood and Education.